Labor

Birth and the Atonement

Marie-Ange Bigelow Atonement, Labor, Motherhood, Religion 1 Comment

As a doula and a lover of birth, I have come to see an undeniable connection between birth and the Atonement. The clarity of this relationship has only grown as I have attended more births and spoken with more women about their birth journey.

“Then cometh Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, Sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder.

And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy.

Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me.

And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”i (Matthew 26:36-39)

Sit ye here, While I go

One thing that always stood out to me about the Atonement was that although Christ alone had to perform the miracle- He wanted to bring his disciples with Him to the Garden of Gethsemane. Before he entered the garden He chose three disciples, Peter, James, and John, to come into the Garden with him.

Jesus doesn’t want to be alone for what he knows will be the hardest thing He will do in his life. It is the same in birth. Most women choose a few people to attend their birth—it may be their partner, mother, father, sister, best friend, or doula. As with Christ, they will choose people to come into their sacred space and support them in their birth.

During the birth of my two children these people were my husband, midwife, and doulas. I prayed a lot about who to have at my birth because giving birth was going to be one of the most difficult things I would do in my life, and I wanted the people there to support me physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.  I just wanted them to love me.

Tarry Ye Here and Watch

Unlike birth, Christ’s disciples weren’t able to hold him up, tell him he could accomplish the impossible, and wipe the blood, sweat and tears from his face. Jesus asked one thing of his disciples, “tarry ye here, and watch with me.”ii

As a doula I have come to recognize the sacred space of birth and the responsibility to witness a laboring mother. Doulas are trained in comfort techniques to help women in labor but there comes a time during birth when comfort is no longer possible. At this point of labor I recall realizing that I was alone—no one else but me could give birth to my child. I had to do it alone.
Thankfully during both of my births when I came to that isolated point of labor, I was blessed to have loved ones there to witness me. Feeling their presence provided comfort to me when nothing else could; and to this day I credit a lot of my ability to have such empowering births to their watchfulness. Their touch didn’t take away my pain, but their company gave me the hope and the power I needed to keep going.

(“Nativity” by Brian Kershisnik)

These thoughts remind me of Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. He was the only person on this Earth that could perform the Atonement because He lived a perfect life. Nonetheless, even during His greatest time of need, when He prayed to Heavenly Father to “let this cup pass from me”,iii He still had the desire to be witnessed.

Let This Cup Pass From Me

After Jesus leaves his witnesses and goes further into the Garden in Matthew 26: 39 it says:
“And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”iv

(“Gethsemane” by Liz Lemon Swindle)

The suffering the Savior went through during the Atonement was beyond what any mortal could endure. Christ suffered for the sins, sicknesses, and pains of every person that had ever and would ever live, and He did it for one reason—love. Even when he was feeling  “exceeding sorrowful, even unto death” v  and prayed to “let this cup pass from me”vi Jesus continued suffering because he loved us perfectly.

I know I will never experience suffering anywhere close to what Christ felt while performing the Atonement but I have felt those feelings. I remember thinking during my births “I can’t do this, this is too much to bear.” I have also witnessed countless times as a doula, the look on a woman’s face when she reaches this part of her labor. I have heard them cry out for it to be over. However, like Jesus, we continue with our labor which will look different for every woman. Our birth may take place at home, a birth center, or a hospital. It may be unmedicated, medicated, or a cesarean birth. No matter what we choose or how our birth happens, childbirth isn’t easy, but we do it because we love our child just like Christ suffered because He loves us.

i. Matthew 26: 36-39

ii. Matthew 26: 38

iii. Matthew 26: 39

iv. Matthew 26: 39

v. Matthew 26: 38

vi. Matthew 26: 39

Written by Charity Wheeler, Owner of Pure Love Doula Services

  • Birth doula, Photography, Bengkung belly binding
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Charity’s love of birth began when she was preparing for the birth of her first child. She was blessed to have a doula, and following her beautiful experience knew that she wanted to help empower other women and families. Charity is now a birth doula and loves supporting women and their partners, and helping them feel confident and safe during the miraculous process of pregnancy and birth.  Book Charity before May 23rd, and receive a free belly binding!

Want to learn more about incorporating spirituality into your birth?  Order your copy of The Sacred Gift of Childbirth today!

 

10 Questions about Early Labor

Marie-Ange Bigelow Labor, Motherhood, Natural Chilbirth, Physiology 0 Comment

Most first time moms wonder what labor will feel like, and wonder how they will know when they are truly in labor.  Many of my clients have plenty of questions regarding early labor, so I’ve compiled the ten most frequent questions I receive about early labor with their answers to help you through your early labor.

  1. What are the first signs that you’re in early labor? It is difficult for most women to know when early labor begins. Some women will notice contractions, but for other women who experienced many Braxton Hicks contractions throughout pregnancy, it will be difficult to pinpoint. Some women experience flu like symptoms like nausea or diarrhea.  Others will feel antsy and energized.
  2. How do you know it’s real and not Braxton Hicks? Time will answer this question. Though Braxton Hicks contractions can be regular, they don’t increase in intensity. Real contractions will become more intense over time, last longer, and will get closer together.  It could take hours to know the answer to this question!  Braxton Hicks contractions often dissipate with a relaxing bath and by drinking lots of water.  If contractions continue to pick up if mom is resting and well hydrated, it is probably early labor.
  3. How important is it to time contractions? What’s the best way to do this? Focusing too much on contractions during early labor is usually a waste of energy and focus. Contractions can easily be more than 10 minutes apart, and women should continue to function normally as early labor can last for hours, even days.  For couples wanting to time contractions, the correct way to do so is to time from the beginning of one contraction to the beginning of the next.  So if one contraction begins at 12:00 and the next one begins at 12:13, contractions are 13 minutes apart.  About 5% of early labor is spent having contractions, the other 95% is waiting and wondering.
  4. What are some techniques for handling contractions early on? For the most part, early labor will not be very painful. Moms may feel antsy, and it may be hard to find a comfortable position, but she should not need to actively cope through most of her early labor contractions. Resting in bed, taking a shower or bath, doing yoga, stretching, or taking a short walk can help.  Distraction can also help.  Games, movies, tidying up, even finishing up the work day can be appropriate activities, depending on the woman.  Save the big comfort measures, like massage-deep breathing- and hypnosis for active labor!
  5. Is it better to rest up or stay active to keep things progressing? Activity should be minimal to preserve energy for active labor. I always remind my clients that you can’t speed up early labor, so there is no point exhausting one’s self by walking 6 miles! Early labor should be a time of resting, hydrating, eating simple-healthy food, and preparing emotionally for active labor.  It’s a great time to meditate, or even watch a movie or play a board game.  For women who already have children, it’s a good time to connect with older children with snuggles and reading books.  Some families enjoy baking cupcakes or a special treat to eat together once the baby is born.
  6. What should you eat (or not eat?) Food should be healthy, simple, and easy to digest. Steer clear from extreme pregnancy cravings!  Many women find fruit to be refreshing.  Fruits with lots of water like watermelon and grapes are popular.  Simple carbs like toast, crackers, and cereal are nice, too.  Many women get upset stomachs during active labor, so foods with onions and garlic can come back to haunt you later on.  Staying hydrated is very important.  Water is best.  Drinks that are high in sugar and stimulants should be avoided.
  7. What are some last minute things you should throw in the birth bag? To avoid last minute stress, the hospital or birth center bag should be packed before early labor. The only last minute items should be things that you need in daily life (like phone charger, toiletries) or fresh food items. Everything else should already be packed.  (clothes for mom and baby, diapers, camera, labor supplies etc) Items that women often forget are chapstick and bobby pins.  Labor is hard work, with lots of open mouth breathing.  It often leads to dry lips and crazy hair!  Some women also like to bring slippers and robes from home.
  8. When is it time to go to the hospital or birthing center? Most couples head to the hospital or birthing center too soon. Everyone is afraid of not getting there in time, but in reality, most births have more than ample time to get to the correct location. Arriving too early makes labor seem like it is lasting longer, and studies show that women’s perception of pain increases as soon as they leave their homes.  As long as the baby is moving and mom is not losing large amounts of blood, couples should stay home until they are well into active labor.  This means, having contractions every 5 minutes  that last for about 60 seconds, for at least an hour.  Contractions should be strong enough that mom cannot function normally through them.  She should actively be coping with her labor with deep breathing and other comfort measures like massage and relaxation.
  9. What are some “do’s” for early labor?
  • Do take care of personal needs. Enjoy one more nap, fix your hair/makeup/nails if that makes you feel better.
  • Eat and drink.
  • Pray/meditate
  • Smile!  Not only is today the day you have a baby, but smiling releases endorphins. 🙂
  • Alert your partner/doula/midwife.
  • Update Facebook status (kidding!)
  • Do make out with your husband (not kidding, it gets those labor hormones going!)  Oxytocin, the hormone of love is also the hormone of birth.
  • Do take time to clear your mind so you can enter active labor focused, relaxed, and free of stress and distraction.  Listen to lullabies, write your baby a letter, or finish up that baby blanket.  Thinking about your baby increases oxytocin, which is a vital hormone for childbirth.  Focusing on your baby during early labor helps your body and mind come together for a smooth active labor and birth.
  • DO TRUST IN YOUR ABILITY TO GIVE BIRTH!

10: What are some “don’ts” for early labor?

  • Don’t get hung up on time, early labor is not supposed to be short.
  • Don’t alert the world, (unless you want your labor to be interrupted with dozens of texts asking for updates).
  • Don’t eat fast food (you will regret it later).
  • Don’t go to the hospital during early labor UNLESS your baby isn’t moving, you are bleeding heavily, or your water has broken and it wasn’t clear.  (Water that is smelly or dirty is a sign that the baby has already pooped, and your baby will need extra monitoring.)
  • Don’t panic.  Your body was made to do this!

Presentations by Marie Bigelow, MT, AdvCD(DONA)